Outside the fence

Once upon a time there was a small child, about 5 or 6 years old, who loved to play in the woods behind her house. They had a big backyard to play in, but she always preferred the forest. She wanted to wander outside the fence. The adventure of the unknown spoke to her. 

She was born in a small village in the mountains. Where everyone knows each other. Neighbours rely on each other here. When all you have is each other, you share both good and bad times. 

Most of them were invited to celebrate the birth of the little girl. After her mother recovered a bit, of course. She had been born in early spring. Just on the verge of winter. That probably has no significance for a baby, other than her star sign, but it sounds nice. It’s a theme. At least her family thought so.

They ran with it. Everyone always told her that her birth was the sign of a new beginning. Not just for the seasons, but for them as a family. A new generation. A new cycle starting in nature. Fresh flowers and longer days. For them, she signified that. A sort of rebirth.

As the girl grew up, she heard stories about her being a ‘new beginning’ all the time. It was one of the few stories that always reoccurred during family or town events. She liked being talked about and described like that, but it sometimes felt like a burden too. 

Like she alone was the reason for their happiness. And she alone could take it away. Not that she’d want to, of course, but it felt like such a fragile thing, their happiness. Solely dependent on her. Maybe one day, she’d take it away from them without meaning to. And maybe she wouldn’t know how to give it back. 

Apart from that little existential thought, the girl was very happy in her young life. There weren’t many children around, so she played mostly by herself or with the grownups around her. She played in and around the house, joined her parents and the dogs on walks and fed the horses and the cows in the summer.

Since the village they lived in was so small and safe, she was allowed to play in the forest behind their house. Outside the fence. Her mom gave her one rule. She always had to make sure she could see the house from where she was playing. Even if it was just a glimpse. It made sure she never wandered off too far in the forest to get lost and would always be in earshot of the house. 

It was a good rule. Her mother had the same rule growing up. She’d had that longing for adventure too. She’d grown up on the other side of the village and enjoyed the space and freedom immensely. Her own mom (the girl’s grandmother) allowed her to play relatively freely around the house. They lived on a farm and both her parents were always walking in and around the house. 

As soon as she was able to walk she wanted to roam in the woods. And when her mom could let her go in good conscience, she was allowed to wander the woods by herself. Only the woods directly around the house.

If this freedom was respected and treated with care, she was allowed a little further from the house with each passing year. This way she was able to get to know the forest very well. She knew the animals that roamed there, the best places to play and the spots to be extra careful. And when she herself became a mom and saw that her daughter wanted to wander too, so she gave her that same rule. 

And so the little girl wandered. She wandered along rivers, and through trees. She followed forest paths and animal trails. Sometimes she wandered a little far. But when she realized she couldn’t see the house anymore, she hurried back. Seeing it made her feel safe. Like nothing bad could happen as long as she could see even a glimmer of the white house through the rows of trees. 

Sometimes she’d see little animals in the forest scurrying away as she approached. There were birds, bunnies and even the occasional squirrel. She always looked out for the animals of the forest. She was curious and wanted to see them, of course, but always respected their home. Her mom had taught her that.

Her mom always warned her that in the spring, most animals became moms and dads themselves. When they all had little kids, they felt very protective of them. Even though most of the animals knew her well and knew she would never harm them, new moms and dads would be quicker to feel in danger than normally. 

One time she encountered a deer. It was at the end of summer, when the little girl was about seven years old. She was dancing and singing along one of her usual paths when all of a sudden something jumped out of the bushes very quickly. Within a second it had jumped into other bushes, almost out of sight. It took the girl a little while to recognize the animal and get over her fright. When she saw that the deer was still staring back at her, she slowly backed away. 

When she couldn’t see the deer anymore she ran home into her parents arms and told her everything that happened. Her mother praised her for the way she respected the deer’s space and made herself feel safe by backing away. Her father said she’d been very brave by keeping calm and coming home. They spent the rest of the afternoon baking a cake for themselves and setting out some food for the birds.

When the girl wanted to go back out in the forest, both her mom and dad offered to go with her to the place where she encountered the deer. To ease the angst. There was no animal to be seen or heard among the bushes. After returning to that same place a couple times afterwards, different memories started to attach to the place of fear. She slowly forgot her aversion to that spot in the forest and started playing as freely again as she did in every other spot in the woods.