When does a routine work for you?

I used to think I hated routines. They never worked for me. In my living-very-healthy-phase when I still lived with my mom and had no real responsibilities I made a morning routine that I rigorously kept to. Everyday I was exhausted before the day even began.

To be fair, it was a pretty intense routine. I would get up at 05:30. Read, meditate, think about gratitude, do some hard lessons on Duolingo, journal and workout for 30mins. I had to be at work at 08:30. After a couple months of keeping that up I’d feel horrible on my way to work; tired and lethargic. 

Once I did a 15min HIIT-workout and got so red and sweaty. I had to rush to get ready for work. By the time I got there I was still red. Everyone saw and asked if I ran there. I was so embarrassed. 

I probably should’ve just adjusted my routine to fit my schedule, but I decided routines weren’t for me. Whenever I’d think up a new routine, I would keep to it a couple days, get bored and stray from it. I loved straying from the routine though. Way more than I loved keeping to it.

I loved doing something spontaneous that I hadn’t planned. But for that to be fun, I had to have a routine in the first place. Otherwise I wasn’t doing anything new or spontaneous and the straying would become my new routine. I wasn’t very keen on that. The straying was always something indulgent. And I wanted to keep those experiences special.

But now, a few years later, I still ended up with routines. They’re everywhere. They're definitely not as strict as they once were. They have little changes and switches in them, but I get drawn to doing the same things. 

“How you spend your days is how you spend your life.”, is a quote I once read. Or something along those lines.

And every time I find myself caught up in the rattrace chaos of it all, I try to bring myself back to the things I really want to spend my time on. 

And those things mostly stay the same. I read books, write little stories, do some journalling, paint on myself with henna, I go outside, do some exercise. I do all the same things that I used to force myself to do because it made for a ‘productive morning routine’. But now, all it takes for me to want to do those things are gentle reminders and a moment of silent feeling.

Sometimes I start up a new hobby. Lately I’ve started drawing, stringing beads. I even bought a candle melting making set. But I have yet to try that one out.

And so even though I haven’t thought out a ‘good’ or productive routine for myself, I do have one. It’s all the activities that I love doing the most. The things that I’m drawn to when I have some free time or when I’m tired of the hassle. The things that, if money were no issue, I’d spend all my days doing.